The last 3 months

This is the last 3 months before I end it. It's not the same anymore...

I will end it.

It has taken a long time... but I've tried my best. It wasn't easy...

What the FUCK?!!

What the fuck?! What the fuck?!!!!!

My gum, where I had my wisdom tooth extracted felt a bit weird for days. I didn't pay much attention to it. UNTIL TODAY, I used my finger to touch around there and
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can feel a little tooth coming out of my gum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? I read from internet that there are some people where they had all their wisdom tooth removed they had another set growing. BUT... my case is different, it is BEHIND my wisdom tooth!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????????????????????????

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sooooooooooo happy I settled one wisdom tooth and now THIS??????????????? Totally spoilt my day! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Could it be my wisdom tooth broke apart before the extraction and this is the leftover? Quite impossible, the Dr would have noticed it. And it was not on the spot where the extraction was, it's slightly behind, and it feels smooth, exactly like a new tooth is coming out. And my gum has been feeling sore, I have the distance memory that this is how it felt like to have a new tooth coming out.

I want to check with my Doc. Today my Dr's slot is full, tomorrow not open. I've booked a time for next Saturday. Gosh... I guess I have to wait for it to grow bigger in order to have it extracted but there're no space to grow!!!! Then it must be surgery now........................WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I be ANYMORE unlucky??? HUH ?? HUH???!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!!!!

Hurtful

I am crying again, for no reason.

What? Who am I kidding? Of cos there is a reason.

Perhaps, I am trying, slowly, to distance myself emotionally from him. Slowly, there has not been as much things to talk to him like we did before. It hit me abruptly to realise this. It is not because of time, people will say "you're bored with him already". No. That's not correct. I had been deliberately, slowly, slowly trying to convince myself that he's not that wonderful, he is not that perfect. But that's hurtful. Not to him. But to myself because...

That's an insult to our past.

But what can I do..

Only if I can convince myself that there is someone better out there, can I have a chance of starting new.

But that's hurtful.

I thought I can live like this. But it seems like I can't... but I am afraid of what is going to happen, I am afraid of the future which my friends hope will happen to me.

What do I do..

Still a struggle

It is still a struggle, everyday. My heart is so confused. Part of me still want to go back, part of me wants to go on. Although I'm now more towards to moving on.. it is still hard, very hard.

I am scared of the future, of the possibility of a new beginning. Honestly, I have never been this afraid of a "normal thing". What would happen? What would happen.........................

I don't know if there's anyone out there who could have the slightest idea of what I am going through... Everyday is a struggle of decisions, of where my heart should head towards... And how hard it is to make these decisions. Easy if I follow my head, but the heart is trying to stop that. I don't need other people's understanding. But it's hard to go on by myself...

I still cry.. if only crying would make things easier.... if only crying would settle things...

Die!

We have a ladder in my JB house. It's outside of our living room but within our compound. We locked the ladder.

One morning, my dad woke up to find that the ladder was moved, as if someone tried to get the ladder out. And my dad's tailor chair, was moved to the side of my house. Meaning that person maybe tried to climb the roof with that chair.

Thankfully he didn't succeed.

I hope that thief fell somewhere and died.

The Noose

Have you been watching Channel 5's second season (is it second or third?) of The Noose? Starring Michelle Chong and er... I don't know the guys' names... It was so brilliant. Soooo funny. Too bad today is the last episode of the second season.

All of them, their impersonation of different characters, so funny and looked real. Michelle Chong sounded so convincing as Philipino maid, as bimbo, etc.. The other guys, spoke English with a French accent and another , Australian accent. Both of them were really convincing. It was sooo cute.

I look forward to the next season of The Noose~

Pig speaker-episode 2

Remember my pig speaker? I think it's a bit weird.

For 2 mornings, I woke up to find its eyes lit brightly. I remember very clearly I turned it off before I sleep.

Well, that is not unusual for cheap electronics. My colleagues always said our office is haunted as the old radio always on or off by itself. I believe it's mechanical faulty. As with my pig speaker.

Yesterday night, I came back at 10+pm. Unlike in the morning where the room is already brighten up by the sunlight, it was dark when I came back of course, I didn't have to turn on light before I leave my room. And here's what I saw when I entered my room :
To find 2 red eyes staring at me in the darkness. ahahahahahah.. scary right............................ It really gave me a fright.

Here's another shot with flash.
So yesterday night I turned off the battery before I sleep and even turned the pig face down, just in case. I don't want another shock : to find 2 lit red eyes staring at me even after I have turned off the battery~~!! hahahahahaha....

Yong Yong's ROM ~

Yong Yong and Jacky finally registered married~! Here's one of my gift for her. I thought it looked really cute. At the Registry of Marriage, exchanging their vows. This is the first time I attended a ROM, can you believe it?

Yong Yong looked very very beautiful on that day.

And she looked really happy with Jacky :)

YY invited us for dinner at the hotel.
She looked really happy that day~~

Natasha's gift : Precious Moment glasses.

Group photo. All the best to you guys, YY and Jacky~!
The rest of the photos are here : http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/ocean_goer/YYJacky_ROM/

Pig speaker!!

Guess what I bought for $9.90? A plush pig speaker!! With red eyes with light once you turn it on. *Evil looking*** but hey, it's cute! and cheap!!
Here's how it looks like beside my laptop. hehehehehe... it's a "huge" speaker i know... but it's cute!! The on and off buttons are on its hands. Volume control is on its feet. wahhh soooo nice loh... Pink~! It'll get dirty very soon I know. But hey! It's cute!! wahahahahaha...

Scary day

My two wisdom teeth had decayed and filled for some time. Toothbrush just cant reach it no matter how I tried to push the toothbrush in. So, the 2 wisdom teeth have big holes... Hate it. One of them, kept chipping, until today, suddenly my mouth movement caused it to hurt. I thought of going to dentist to have it extracted on Sat.. but .. I think I can't wait anymore. Slight mouth movement caused it to hurt. So I took half day leave and went back JB to see my dentist.

My usual Dr didn't have a free slot so I asked for another Dr in the clinic. The female Dr was pretty, friendly and patient. I was soooooooo nervous when I went in. I asked the Dr, "Will it hurt?", "What if I faint?" hahaha.. She laughed and asked me just relax and she'll take care of everything. I was afraid of the pain when she injects the anaesthetic. But she said she'll use the "rub on" anaesthetic before she does the injection. So, it wasn't so bad.

But it's still uncomfortable.. because, force is needed to extract a tooth. She spent a little while pulling on my tooth. At first there was slight pain and I told her and she gave me another injection. Oh, the anaesthetic was so bitter, and because it's so near to the throat, it felt like my throat is swelling. The muscles there couldn't be controlled and I felt like I couldn't swallow. It felt like it's swollen and that I'm suffocating. It was quite scary.

I still can feel the tooth being pulled out , though no pain. But... it's still scary. I don't have MC. So still gotta work tomorrow. I'm ok with that. If she gives me MC, means she foresees that I will be in pain.

So far there's no swelling. Hope it remains this way tomorrow.

I still have another wisdom tooth to be extracted. Sigh. Hate teeth problem.

Anyway, I went to the dental clinic ain Holiday Plaza, Lim Dental Clinic. I recommend anyone to go there. The nurses and staffs are friendly too, no muka busuk. :)

Dinasaurs chased me!

I really am the dream queen~! hahaha..

The tv had been showing scenes from Jurassic Park 3 which were to be shown yesterday. I didn't watch the movie yesterday but I saw the scenes.

Yesterday I dreamt I was chased by HUGE dinosaurs, the first one was the T-REX, HUGE T-rex. It was very scary. There were other big and small dinosaurs too. I was chased inside a ship, inside buildings, and onto the streets.. The dream was very long. And I was really really tired after all the fleeing from dinosaurs. hahah...

Hope I get a better dream tonight ;)

Criminal in the making

I was shocked to read this news, really shocked. The boy is a criminal in the making, or should I say, a born criminal. UNBELIEVABLE. Poor lizards and other animals.... Minding their own business peacefully in the zoo and came this little devil and ended their lives. SHOCKING.

Quote from www.news.com.au:

Boy, 7, fed live zoo animals to crocodileBy Rebekah Cavanagh
October 03, 2008 10:07am
Article from: Font size: + -
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Boy, 7, breaks into reptile farm
Feeds main exhibits to resident croc
Too young to be prosecuted

A SEVEN-year-old boy broke into a reptile farm and smiled as he fed 10 live reptiles, the farm's main exhibits, to the resident crocodile.

He also bludgeoned three lizards to death in their pens, The Northern Territory News reported.

Police cannot charge the boy because of his age.

Security camera video footage shows every move of the youngster's 35-minute rampage through the Alice Springs Reptile Centre just after 8am on Wednesday.

One CCTV image shows him with a big smile on his face as he watches the saltie splash around its pool as it attacks a northern blue tongue lizard.

Centre director Rex Neindorf said the behaviour was "disgusting''.

"I'm just devastated at the age of the child and the fact no one wants to take responsibility,'' he said.

"The fact a seven-year-old can wreak so much havoc in such a short time, let alone even think of doing something like this, is unbelievable."

Mr Neindorf said - a turtle, four western blue tongue lizards, two bearded dragons, two thorny devils and a 1.8m adult female Spencer's goanna - were thrown into the jaws of the 200kg crocodile named Terry.

Another three lizards - a blue tongue and two thorny devils -were found dead after being "brutally bludgeoned''.

Mr Neindorf said the boy was lucky he did not also become Terry's dinner.

"The croc could have easily taken him from the landing he was standing on,'' he said.

Police spoke to the boy and his mother yesterday but cannot press charges because he is too young.

Saviour dream

I pack my things on Thu nights, because I go back JB after Friday's work.

Last Thu night, I dreamt that I have forgotten to include my passport as I changed bag. I was aware in the dream, that I was dreaming (I always have that awareness in my dreams). Sounds impossible? But it's the truth. I was aware in the dream, that what I was dreaming was true : that I did not put my passport in the correct bag.

When I woke up, the first thing I do was to take my passport and put it in the correct bag. So, my dream saved me from a miserable day. Imagine the trouble if I left out my passport!

I am the dream queen. hahaah.

Control.. control..

I really hate cyclists who rides very fast in pedestrian walkway.

Last Friday I was walking towards IMM from Jurong MRT station. A man whom I believe to be of China nationality rode very past, there were a lot of people on the walkway.

I have to really control myself, very very hard, not to kick his bicycle when he zoomed by.

A wonderful day~ Cycling day~

At the age of 31, I finally can cycling!

Gabriel, my friend Winnie and I, we went to Ubin today. It had been raining for the whole last night, I thought today will sure be a sunny day. But it was cloudy in the morning and was still drizzling a bit. But I didn't care, I wanna try my luck. And so we went. Turned out, it's one fine day~

It was cloudy with tiny bits of sun, which was good, else I probably won't last that long.. It was very tiring to learn to ride a bicycle... HONESTLY, very tiring. I was panting the whole time. And the seat is totally uncomfortable. I mean, it's got cushion alright, but it pressed against my groin area.. causing my groin area to hurt like hell!! It hurts when I sit, it even hurts when I walk... Perhaps because I hold the bike very tightly, and I leaned forward. It is really really painful... And my arms are aching too.... I wore my gym gloves, thankfully I brought them even though I think I won't be needing it. Gab knows everything, and he told me to bring the gloves. See my hands are redden.

And I started to ride on my own without help after 1 hour 10minutes~!! I am so proud of myself. hahahaha. Because I thought I will be too kiasi and won't be able to learn. I didn't time it, Gab time it for me. He always think of everything. He also brought me the helmet.

Too bad I didn't ask him to record video when I was learning... I only took out the camera after I can ride by myself. I am still not stable but I am happy with the result today~!! I look funny... because I'm short, I have to adjust the seat to the lowest level but that means my knees have to bend all the way in order to cycle. heehee...

Then after that we went have lunch at one of the shops. Delicious black pepper crab~~ yummy yummy~

THen Gab and I went work out at gym for a while. It wasn't sunny after gym, but we still went to the pool which is just beside the gym. Even just sleep on the beach chair without much sun (for tanning) is a good thing to do. But who knows, the sun gotten quite strong after a while. And now my face is redden with a bit sunburn. I miss this sunburn face. haha... My face has been fair for too long. But then, my face will become fair again in a few days. Sian, I'd like my face to stay this way.

Great day isn't it? No sun when I was learning hard how to cycle, we sweat like siao even when there's no sun. Then when we went suntanning, the sun came out. One fine day indeed!! HAPPY!!