One day, comes a doggie

We're moving tomorrow. The night before yesterday, a doggie was resting in front of my house, under a big plant. She looked clean and I thought she's someone's pet and she'd probably return home the next day.

That night, it rained. The doggie was still under that big plant in the morning. So poor thing. So I brought it inside my house and wipe her dry a bit and gave her some food. She looked 笨苯... At first I named her Bella, since recently I read the Twilight novel and the main character's name "Bella" immediately came to my mind. Then because she's a bit 笨苯, I just call her 笨苯 instead. hahaa... She found herself a corner amongst the things we want to move and sleep there. She slept so soundly, poor baby. Must be tough for her to endure a night under a plant in the rain.

My brother and I went supermarket and I pestered my bro to buy her a packet of dog food. WHen we returned home I couldn't see her. I thought she had gone back home.

The next day, we moved the newspapers that we wanted to sell and we discovered her under that cabinet. hahahaha.... I fed her the food we bought yesterday and she looked more cheery and healthy. but stil a bit 笨苯 hahahaahaa...

I don't know if my parents would let us keep the dog. But I've put in my love onto the doggie.. will be very sad just let her go back to the streets...

Just when we're about to move, comes a doggie, must be fate!!

Tomorrow we're moving! Busy day!!

Happy yet sad

I found a room in Toa Payoh today. I am glad that I only have to view one room and liked it. I wanted a room near a gym and I got it! I am happy about this. but unhappy and sad about having to cough out about S$120 more for rent and transport.

I should have chosen Khatib one, the gym over there is 3 times the size of Toa Payoh one...I didn't notice this...

I think I have wayyyyy too many things. Can't fit in that common room... this master bedroom is at least 1/3 bigger than that common room... have to send some back to JB.. But I don't have much time... This weekend moving house in JB, next weekend cousin's wedding, then I have to move already. I thought I can enjoy this master bedroom until end of Dec... But new landlord of course not willing to wait.. sigh.. i'm left with less than 20days to enjoy this sweet little master bedroom.................................

And I am damn fucking broke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paid off

Months of work out at the gym has paid off~ Yesterday me and family went to wash our new house. I spent so much energy scrubing the floors, this and that. My mother was stunned to see her petite daughter able to do so much work. haha.

I thought my arms will sore the next day as I really used a lot of force to scrub the floor, but it didn't~ Weight training at the gym really paid off~! But yesterday the bigger pail of water was too heavy for me. Caused strain on my back and waist. And today my back and waist feel sore. I will never dare to be so careless again. I think I tried to carry it too fast and abrupt, as it's so heavy. I should carry it slowly.

Wanted to go run today or do yoga. But my waist is a little annoying. I thought I better don't further strain my back. So I just relaxed today. I am just sooooo fat. Tomorrow must go jogging.

Changes changes changes

So many changes in my life recently. Doctor on tv said it's not good to have many things happen at the same time, it'll cause stress and possibly depression.

Well, things are beyond human's control all the time.

I am shifting house in JB next Sat. I've decided to end "it" recently. And then, my SG room landlord asked us to move by end of next month.

I was so shock and upset by that notice and I got stomachache for 2 days. Whenever I thought about it I wanna lao sao. I thought of the likelihood that my landlord will increase my rent but never thought he'll ask us to move...

I am really upset. Bcause the rent is so high now, I cannot afford any higher rent... well, can afford.. but will left with little money to use. And that's gonna take a big chunk of my salary... which makes me look really stupid to continue to work here where a large part of my salary goes to the rent. But the even sadder part is I have to stay in common room now... I have been staying in master bedroom for nearly 4 years. I am really really used stay in such convenient room as if I'm staying in a hotel. Sigh.. what to do. No money to stay in a master bedroom anymore..... Even for a common room I have to cough out more money.

Just when I was about to cheer up a little with my life. Just when I was getting a little out of the dark character that I've been in in years, this had to happen.

Why?

People always say, things happen for a reason. I don't believe that. But now I have to find a reason, an excuse, or whatever, of not being unhappy again. I was in denial. But now.. I guess, I should think, I should be grateful that I've stayed in a master bedroom at such cheap rent for nearly 4 years. I guess, by moving into a common room, makes ending "it" a little easier.

Feels a little better thinking like that...

On the other hand, my family will be shifting house (JB-my real house) this Saturday. I really like our new house, bigger land which we can plant more flowers and stuffs, and it's high up and windy. The colour of our house is a little unusual compare to the normal house. Because we used darker colour than what people usually use to paint our rooms and doors. I feel our house looks like a cartoon house. I love it :D

YongYong's wedding photo

Had not been updating my blog. Because I was busy doing my long time friend YY's wedding website.

I searched and learnt new Photoshop techniques while doing the website. It was fun. Tiring yes, as I tried to make it as fast as possible but fun. Most importantly, I am happy to be able to help my old time friend with her wedding.

All the best to Jacky and Yong Yong.

Here is their website : http://www.geocities.com/jackynyongyong

By the way, the website is free, so it's got limitation. Once the data file transfer is exceeded they website will be down. Just try again later.

As soon as I finished with YY's website, I am starting with another "project" - my cousin Nancy's wedding slideshow. I hope it'll turn out nice~

The "new tooth"

I seached internet about my "new tooth" that I discovered after I removed my wisdom tooth. There were not many info but I managed to find out that it's actually a bone that supports the wisdom tooth. Whew... but to be sure I've booked a time with my dentist today. She confirmed my finding, that it is just bone. I told her I was so afraid and I searched internet for it and she said "Huh? Wah, found on the net ah? very clever hor you". And she clapped her hand. hahahaha....

Today I've had 3 of my teeth filled. But one still a bit sore when I bite something hard, but there isn't any visible damage on the tooth... I don't know why.. Better take good care of our teeth.. I swear from now on I will visit dentist every half a year.

The last 3 months

This is the last 3 months before I end it. It's not the same anymore...

I will end it.

It has taken a long time... but I've tried my best. It wasn't easy...

What the FUCK?!!

What the fuck?! What the fuck?!!!!!

My gum, where I had my wisdom tooth extracted felt a bit weird for days. I didn't pay much attention to it. UNTIL TODAY, I used my finger to touch around there and
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can feel a little tooth coming out of my gum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? I read from internet that there are some people where they had all their wisdom tooth removed they had another set growing. BUT... my case is different, it is BEHIND my wisdom tooth!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????????????????????????

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sooooooooooo happy I settled one wisdom tooth and now THIS??????????????? Totally spoilt my day! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Could it be my wisdom tooth broke apart before the extraction and this is the leftover? Quite impossible, the Dr would have noticed it. And it was not on the spot where the extraction was, it's slightly behind, and it feels smooth, exactly like a new tooth is coming out. And my gum has been feeling sore, I have the distance memory that this is how it felt like to have a new tooth coming out.

I want to check with my Doc. Today my Dr's slot is full, tomorrow not open. I've booked a time for next Saturday. Gosh... I guess I have to wait for it to grow bigger in order to have it extracted but there're no space to grow!!!! Then it must be surgery now........................WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I be ANYMORE unlucky??? HUH ?? HUH???!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!!!!

Hurtful

I am crying again, for no reason.

What? Who am I kidding? Of cos there is a reason.

Perhaps, I am trying, slowly, to distance myself emotionally from him. Slowly, there has not been as much things to talk to him like we did before. It hit me abruptly to realise this. It is not because of time, people will say "you're bored with him already". No. That's not correct. I had been deliberately, slowly, slowly trying to convince myself that he's not that wonderful, he is not that perfect. But that's hurtful. Not to him. But to myself because...

That's an insult to our past.

But what can I do..

Only if I can convince myself that there is someone better out there, can I have a chance of starting new.

But that's hurtful.

I thought I can live like this. But it seems like I can't... but I am afraid of what is going to happen, I am afraid of the future which my friends hope will happen to me.

What do I do..

Still a struggle

It is still a struggle, everyday. My heart is so confused. Part of me still want to go back, part of me wants to go on. Although I'm now more towards to moving on.. it is still hard, very hard.

I am scared of the future, of the possibility of a new beginning. Honestly, I have never been this afraid of a "normal thing". What would happen? What would happen.........................

I don't know if there's anyone out there who could have the slightest idea of what I am going through... Everyday is a struggle of decisions, of where my heart should head towards... And how hard it is to make these decisions. Easy if I follow my head, but the heart is trying to stop that. I don't need other people's understanding. But it's hard to go on by myself...

I still cry.. if only crying would make things easier.... if only crying would settle things...

Die!

We have a ladder in my JB house. It's outside of our living room but within our compound. We locked the ladder.

One morning, my dad woke up to find that the ladder was moved, as if someone tried to get the ladder out. And my dad's tailor chair, was moved to the side of my house. Meaning that person maybe tried to climb the roof with that chair.

Thankfully he didn't succeed.

I hope that thief fell somewhere and died.

The Noose

Have you been watching Channel 5's second season (is it second or third?) of The Noose? Starring Michelle Chong and er... I don't know the guys' names... It was so brilliant. Soooo funny. Too bad today is the last episode of the second season.

All of them, their impersonation of different characters, so funny and looked real. Michelle Chong sounded so convincing as Philipino maid, as bimbo, etc.. The other guys, spoke English with a French accent and another , Australian accent. Both of them were really convincing. It was sooo cute.

I look forward to the next season of The Noose~