Quarrel

I don’t usually quarrel with people.

There were only twice that I can remember. Both were because I wanted to "seek justice" for my friends.

First was in sec school. I don’t know if I got the wrong idea but I had the impression that some girls (with bad reputation) were criticizing my best friend who’s a gentle and pretty girl.

One day while we walked pass those girls, I thought they were talking bad about my friend again (they were talking deliberately and loudly). Without seeking the truth, I talked back in defiance. Until now I still do not know whether they were talking about my friend… =p but I was very angry at that time… so, I did what I did.

Then we kind of quarreled in the girl’s toilet. And I cried. It all happened very fast and I didn't know what exactly happened…

I was scared cos they are not those girls in school who you want to mess around.. but… I don’t know. I don’t know how the hell I actually summed up enough courage to talk back…

Anyway, that’s the first.

Second time happened at work.

A colleague (B) lent her book to another colleague (let’s call her C). When we talked about that particular book, I said to B I want to borrow the book from her. She then told me C hadn’t returned the book to her. And it’s been a rrreal long time. I told her to ask it back, but B was a very gentle girl and she felt it’s not nice to ask it back… even though she really really likes that book.

So I said I will try to ask it back from C by telling her I want to read it. Since she’s been holding that book for so long, she should be willing to return it.

I asked C many times and yet she still did not return the book.

I got fed up. B was unhappy about it too but she’s too nice a girl to do anything about it.

I was so indignant over this.

I mean, what? You borrowed something from someone and you expect that someone to just forget about the thing she/he had lent to you and so that thing could eventually be yours?? If not, why are you still holding on the thing for so-goddamn-long after the owner (although in this case, it's me, not the owner..) had repeatedly asked for it?

So I called C (different offices) one day and said “When EXACTLY do you want to return the book?”
Of course, I sounded harsh.

And she said “I know you are the Officer, you don’t have to speak to me like that.” (She’s one of the sales personnel whose orders have to be approved by me. Ours was a complicated company)

Then we started quarrelling, I’ll spare you the details of the content… I can’t remember it exactly anyway.

I was so damn pissed off, so angry and so agitated till my heartbeat was probably over 200 (yeah well, a bit exaggerated, maybe).

And I shed tears. Uncontrollably I shed tears. I didn’t want to.. but my tears have a mind of its own as always (I always cried when being bullied at work).

Then the next day, the book was returned, by another colleague. Thank Goodness I didn’t have to face C.

Somehow, I felt that my colleague B should thank me more. Before my interference, she was already prepared to say goodbye to her book, however she liked it. She didn’t plan to ask it back. She should be more than happy that I got her book back. But it didn’t seem like it.

I felt I deserved more gratitude.

But maybe I just put myself in her “busybody” category.
Was I a busybody?? I don’t know. You tell me.