Cannot explain....

Something weird happened to me again this morning (weird things happen once in a while in my room).

This morning, I woke up and realized my necklace wasn’t on me. I never take out my necklace unless I want to change to another necklace. So naturally I went search around my pillow for it. It wasn’t there.

Suddenly I saw it, it was nicely placed on the small desk beside my bed……… I don’t remember doing that. Cos I slept straight through the night until alarm rings.

CK said the most “logical” explanation is that my chinchilla did it. Hahaha.. yeah.. that’s the most “logical” explanation in this case cos there is no other living thing in my room besides me, my chin and hamster. But even that doesn’t work. Because if it was my chin who found my necklace, she would take the necklace to her cage and “have fun” with it, instead of putting in nicely on the desk. Hahaha…

It couldn’t be me. It just couldn’t. If my necklace fall off while I was asleep, I would not have notice it, let alone placing it on the desk. There’s just no explanation. I am not scared but I don’t like it when there are things happened that I cannot explain. I don’t have sleep walking habit, for the record.

In the first year I moved here, I had weird dreams, ghost dreams. I dreamt that an old lady pulling a luggage in my room. I also dreamt that a guy was sitting on my bed back facing me. It was in a scary mood. When he’s about to turn around I woke up. Thank goodness for that. Perhaps that “old lady” was moving out and the “guy” moved in. It’s one thing having nightmare about ghost, it is another thing when the nightmare’s background is… your own room. It makes the nightmare all so real and even scarier.

That two dreams were scary, I woke up with very fast heartbeats. But after that I wasn’t scared. I thought, even though there are weird things happen now and then, I was fine. “They” didn’t do any harm to me. So I hope that if there really are “they”, that they don’t mind me, and I don’t mind them. As long as they don’t “kacau” me then it’s ok…

Another trip has gone

There goes another trip of diving in Tioman. Happy times always go so fast. I am so hopelessly addicted to diving. My money all goes to the sea. Sigh.. so poor yet so addicted to diving, like people addicted to drugs.... Just came back from a trip and am hoping and wondering when will be my next trip. If I can dive dive dive, do nothing but dive, wah... so shiok...

Why am I so poor leh... sian...

"Were you really been raped?"

JB-ian were aghast by the recent robbery and rape cases. What has our city become....

People have been talking about signing petition and hand it to the police. I believe police's attitude will not change easily. If the number of police is increased, they patrol more around the neighbourhood, if their attitude do not change, our public safety still won't improve greatly. Their attitude simply sucks.

Our police's attitude, I am not saying all, but most, tends to doubt the public instead of investigating the crime. It seems like they think if you are lying then they don't have to do any investigation anymore, thus they can sit comfortably in office. I am talking about the general policemen/women, not the serious crime investigators (sorry, I don't know what they are called. I think those officers do a better job then the general policemen).

For instance, the recent rape victim, were questioned by a policewoman whether she was really been raped just because she wasn't hysterically crying like in the drama. We the public have much free time to play with the cops is it?? We like to ask the police to come and pretend we have been robbed and raped is it??

Years back, my wallet was pickpocketed at Larkin bus terminal (beware, that's a dangerous place). I went to the police station to report lost of IC. I was not allowed to make a report. "It is not necessary", I was told. It was outrageous!! The government always tell us IC is an important document and we as the citizen must make sure we take good care of it. You will be fined if you IC is ruined or missing. But the police said "it's not necessary" to make a report for stolen IC. If my IC was used by someone to borrow money from loanshark then I have no proof whatsoever the IC was stolen. And then forget about the police, I have only myself to depend on if such thing happens. What's more absurb, was one of the policewomen, said to me "Are you sure your wallet was stolen? You CANNOT just anyhow ACCUSE people you know?" WHat the fuck??!
1. If not my wallet was pickpocketed, would I be so free to go to the police station? For the record, people in JB hate to go to te police station.
2. Who the hell am I accusing here? If I got someone whom I can accuse at I would have got back my wallet already.
3. Just for ranting, WHAT A FUCKING STUPID QUESTION THAT WAS?!!!

I just have no faith with the police anymore.

3,714% inflation!

Read from the BBC news, "Zimbabwe will collapse within six months, possibly leading to a state of emergency-says a leaked briefing report for aid workers in the country".

Quote :
"Rampant inflation will mean shops and services can no longer function and people would resort to barter, it said."

"The memorandum is talking about a situation where there is no functioning government or a total breakdown," an unnamed aid worker told the UK Times.
Zimbabwe's inflation is already 3,714% - the highest rate in the world. "

"It said power and water suppliers were already near collapse. Electricity was last month rationed to just four hours a day to save power for farmers.

Just one adult in five is believed to have a regular job.

Some 4m Zimbabweans - a third of the population - will need food aid this year, according to the UN World Food Programme. "
Unquote.

See full news http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6751671.stm

This is horrible.... Inflation of 3,714%????!! The last I read was about 300% and I thought were they joking??? 3,714%??!!! What does it mean if a country's economy collapses? As it said in the news, "people would resort to barter"... so that's it?? I cannot imagine... do they have international trades? so they'll be living with no electricity, no use of money since it values so little, so they're back to the stone age........ my gosh... How are foreigners in Zimbabwe going to buy things..?? This is really beyond my knowledge.... How are they going to revive their economy??? geez.. so sad about this news...

What is this

Guess what is this?

Click on the photo to see and remember to display it in full size (don't read below first please).*
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* Boh liao hor? hahahahah..... Oh by the way. That was my foot.

Andy Lau ^_^

I am not a fan of Andy Lau. But I have dreamt of him don't know 2 or 3 times including yesterday's. I dream of him because someone mentioned his name 2days before...

It was soooooooooo sweet...... He treated me like a princess Every time I dream of him he was as sweet as ever. I guess because that's the image he has in my eyes. I just didn't want to wake up. hahaha... sooooooooo... niceeeee............ even though he's not my type of guys.

Hope I will have sweet dreams every night. But actually, my dreams are always nice dreams. I just don't like it when I dream that the car brake is not working when I am driving. It's horrible... I thought I am the only one who would have such dreams but turned out that YY also have such dreams! Weird. Anxiety about the road safety huh...

New spec

I am going to have my new spec tomorrow~~ I just did a new one in February... it's one of those very popular ones with thick er... "frame leg"...? I don't know what's that called... I don't like this spec, it looks trendy but it hinders my vision. I can't see the cars coming from left and right unless I turn my head to see, which is something I need not do with a thin "frame leg". And with a thin "leg" I can be aware of my boss approaching when I am "eating snake" surfing the internet during office hour.

This new spec is kindly sponsored by my dear brother~ I think he wanted to cheer me up seeing that I was unhappy recently.. so touch....

But this new spec that I am going to get tomorrow, might be too flimsy... wonder if it will last me for at least 2 years... Aiks, thick complain too thick, thin complain too thin... Women...

I must and I will

I must and I will abide what we have decided.

There can be no turning back. Even if it means I might have to live alone for the rest of my life. Love and hate is separated only by a fine line. I cannot risk putting myself on the verge of crossing that line. If I cross that line, whatever sweet memories we had will be shattered.

Friends adviced me of not seeing him. I can't and I won't. This is already the best of what I can do. We can still be friend. I am firm of our decision this time. Shunning him totally out from my life will make me even more vulnerable. And the risk of going back to how it was is higher.

I will abide to it. If I will have to live alone till I die, so be it. Finding a soul mate is not easy. It's, extremely hard, actually. Well, so be it.

Bugs bugs bugs

There are bugs on my brother's plant. Immediately I want to use my newly bought Sony camera with 1cm macro to take photos of the bugs and the result was very good~ though the flash couldn't reach the whole picture.. due to the flash position...

Our naked eye couldn't really see the bugs clearly, all we see is dot dot dot...


Here we can see better. They actually look kind of cute...

Can't really tell what these white dots are...

Until... I make use of the camera. It seems like these are the bugs' discarded shells.

2 more photos. Click to see full size.
They have "antenna" on their heads and big red eyes. Cute right~
That's all folks~

Ex..cru..cia..ting.........

I’ve made a heart breaking decision, or shall I say, we, have made a heart breaking decision…

I’ve cried for so many nights. The blood vessels around my eyes were on the verge of exploding… Every morning, my eyes will be swollen like gold fish, the result of too much crying the night before. When I was alone I cry, when I was with friends or family I did managed to squeeze out some laughter, but inside… I was crying.

The thought of ending my life seriously cross my head, my useless head. But I couldn’t. It’s too selfish… The thought of my mother’s devastation if I do such thing… made me stop thinking about that. I couldn’t let her 30 years of tough upbringing of me go down the drain just like that.

And so, him and I have made our decision. Slowly, I should live a life without him being with me everyday. It’s…. hard… it’s gonna be so God damn hard…… But I have to… If we continue like this, I’m afraid I might end up hating him. I don’t want to hate him.

The mere thinking of my future life, without him making up a big part of it, is, excruciating… I still cry when I think of that….

Soon, there’ll be no one to chat with me about my everyday life, about everything else.

Soon, there’ll be no one to share my passion for animals.

Soon, there’ll be no one there to dote on me.

Soon, I’ll be all lonely again…

Will he be ok without me? Will he think of me till his heart pains? We both will… we both will…

Oh God… How am I going to get through this… My heart is bleeding….

Expectations

Expectation, what is, expectation?

Everybody knows, expectation, something you think you will or should achieve, something you think will or should happen, something you think will or should belong to you in the end, etc...

With expectation, comes along disappointment. Because not everything we want will happen, not everything we expect will turn out true.

If you don't have expectations, you won't have disappointments. So why does everybody still have expectations? Strange. I, for one, cannot escape from this phenomenon.

I guess, if what you expect does happen or turn out true, the exhilaration is beyond what without expectations. It proves that you are right, you are correct, etc. But the disappointment is not something I fancy. It feels horrible...

Knowing with expectations come disappointments, I told myself not to have anymore expectations. However, with that said, I doubt I can ever master this "no expectation" kind of living. Humans are humans. Humans are stupid in some ways. Like how moths fly into fire.

I tell myself everyday, do not have expectations. Even with realistic expectations you'll still get disappointments. Yet, I'm still a fool.

Yes, I am a fool.

What does my future hold

This is not exactly a poem... doesn't rhyme too good and it's messy... but, whatever.

I am thankful for one thing,
that you're alive and kicking.
I am grateful for one other,
of the memories we have shared.

Fate is playing with our lives,
but you have always by my side.
What have I done to deserve you,
what have I done to lose you.

I am afraid I might forget,
how you hugged me from the back.
Boat's running in the rain and it was cold,
your hug immediately warmed my soul.

Never have I been so loved,
how am I to desert?
I am alone in this world,
wonder what does my future hold...