Changes changes changes

So many changes in my life recently. Doctor on tv said it's not good to have many things happen at the same time, it'll cause stress and possibly depression.

Well, things are beyond human's control all the time.

I am shifting house in JB next Sat. I've decided to end "it" recently. And then, my SG room landlord asked us to move by end of next month.

I was so shock and upset by that notice and I got stomachache for 2 days. Whenever I thought about it I wanna lao sao. I thought of the likelihood that my landlord will increase my rent but never thought he'll ask us to move...

I am really upset. Bcause the rent is so high now, I cannot afford any higher rent... well, can afford.. but will left with little money to use. And that's gonna take a big chunk of my salary... which makes me look really stupid to continue to work here where a large part of my salary goes to the rent. But the even sadder part is I have to stay in common room now... I have been staying in master bedroom for nearly 4 years. I am really really used stay in such convenient room as if I'm staying in a hotel. Sigh.. what to do. No money to stay in a master bedroom anymore..... Even for a common room I have to cough out more money.

Just when I was about to cheer up a little with my life. Just when I was getting a little out of the dark character that I've been in in years, this had to happen.

Why?

People always say, things happen for a reason. I don't believe that. But now I have to find a reason, an excuse, or whatever, of not being unhappy again. I was in denial. But now.. I guess, I should think, I should be grateful that I've stayed in a master bedroom at such cheap rent for nearly 4 years. I guess, by moving into a common room, makes ending "it" a little easier.

Feels a little better thinking like that...

On the other hand, my family will be shifting house (JB-my real house) this Saturday. I really like our new house, bigger land which we can plant more flowers and stuffs, and it's high up and windy. The colour of our house is a little unusual compare to the normal house. Because we used darker colour than what people usually use to paint our rooms and doors. I feel our house looks like a cartoon house. I love it :D

YongYong's wedding photo

Had not been updating my blog. Because I was busy doing my long time friend YY's wedding website.

I searched and learnt new Photoshop techniques while doing the website. It was fun. Tiring yes, as I tried to make it as fast as possible but fun. Most importantly, I am happy to be able to help my old time friend with her wedding.

All the best to Jacky and Yong Yong.

Here is their website : http://www.geocities.com/jackynyongyong

By the way, the website is free, so it's got limitation. Once the data file transfer is exceeded they website will be down. Just try again later.

As soon as I finished with YY's website, I am starting with another "project" - my cousin Nancy's wedding slideshow. I hope it'll turn out nice~

The "new tooth"

I seached internet about my "new tooth" that I discovered after I removed my wisdom tooth. There were not many info but I managed to find out that it's actually a bone that supports the wisdom tooth. Whew... but to be sure I've booked a time with my dentist today. She confirmed my finding, that it is just bone. I told her I was so afraid and I searched internet for it and she said "Huh? Wah, found on the net ah? very clever hor you". And she clapped her hand. hahahaha....

Today I've had 3 of my teeth filled. But one still a bit sore when I bite something hard, but there isn't any visible damage on the tooth... I don't know why.. Better take good care of our teeth.. I swear from now on I will visit dentist every half a year.

The last 3 months

This is the last 3 months before I end it. It's not the same anymore...

I will end it.

It has taken a long time... but I've tried my best. It wasn't easy...

What the FUCK?!!

What the fuck?! What the fuck?!!!!!

My gum, where I had my wisdom tooth extracted felt a bit weird for days. I didn't pay much attention to it. UNTIL TODAY, I used my finger to touch around there and
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can feel a little tooth coming out of my gum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? I read from internet that there are some people where they had all their wisdom tooth removed they had another set growing. BUT... my case is different, it is BEHIND my wisdom tooth!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????????????????????????

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sooooooooooo happy I settled one wisdom tooth and now THIS??????????????? Totally spoilt my day! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Could it be my wisdom tooth broke apart before the extraction and this is the leftover? Quite impossible, the Dr would have noticed it. And it was not on the spot where the extraction was, it's slightly behind, and it feels smooth, exactly like a new tooth is coming out. And my gum has been feeling sore, I have the distance memory that this is how it felt like to have a new tooth coming out.

I want to check with my Doc. Today my Dr's slot is full, tomorrow not open. I've booked a time for next Saturday. Gosh... I guess I have to wait for it to grow bigger in order to have it extracted but there're no space to grow!!!! Then it must be surgery now........................WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I be ANYMORE unlucky??? HUH ?? HUH???!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!!!!!

Hurtful

I am crying again, for no reason.

What? Who am I kidding? Of cos there is a reason.

Perhaps, I am trying, slowly, to distance myself emotionally from him. Slowly, there has not been as much things to talk to him like we did before. It hit me abruptly to realise this. It is not because of time, people will say "you're bored with him already". No. That's not correct. I had been deliberately, slowly, slowly trying to convince myself that he's not that wonderful, he is not that perfect. But that's hurtful. Not to him. But to myself because...

That's an insult to our past.

But what can I do..

Only if I can convince myself that there is someone better out there, can I have a chance of starting new.

But that's hurtful.

I thought I can live like this. But it seems like I can't... but I am afraid of what is going to happen, I am afraid of the future which my friends hope will happen to me.

What do I do..

Still a struggle

It is still a struggle, everyday. My heart is so confused. Part of me still want to go back, part of me wants to go on. Although I'm now more towards to moving on.. it is still hard, very hard.

I am scared of the future, of the possibility of a new beginning. Honestly, I have never been this afraid of a "normal thing". What would happen? What would happen.........................

I don't know if there's anyone out there who could have the slightest idea of what I am going through... Everyday is a struggle of decisions, of where my heart should head towards... And how hard it is to make these decisions. Easy if I follow my head, but the heart is trying to stop that. I don't need other people's understanding. But it's hard to go on by myself...

I still cry.. if only crying would make things easier.... if only crying would settle things...

Die!

We have a ladder in my JB house. It's outside of our living room but within our compound. We locked the ladder.

One morning, my dad woke up to find that the ladder was moved, as if someone tried to get the ladder out. And my dad's tailor chair, was moved to the side of my house. Meaning that person maybe tried to climb the roof with that chair.

Thankfully he didn't succeed.

I hope that thief fell somewhere and died.

The Noose

Have you been watching Channel 5's second season (is it second or third?) of The Noose? Starring Michelle Chong and er... I don't know the guys' names... It was so brilliant. Soooo funny. Too bad today is the last episode of the second season.

All of them, their impersonation of different characters, so funny and looked real. Michelle Chong sounded so convincing as Philipino maid, as bimbo, etc.. The other guys, spoke English with a French accent and another , Australian accent. Both of them were really convincing. It was sooo cute.

I look forward to the next season of The Noose~

Pig speaker-episode 2

Remember my pig speaker? I think it's a bit weird.

For 2 mornings, I woke up to find its eyes lit brightly. I remember very clearly I turned it off before I sleep.

Well, that is not unusual for cheap electronics. My colleagues always said our office is haunted as the old radio always on or off by itself. I believe it's mechanical faulty. As with my pig speaker.

Yesterday night, I came back at 10+pm. Unlike in the morning where the room is already brighten up by the sunlight, it was dark when I came back of course, I didn't have to turn on light before I leave my room. And here's what I saw when I entered my room :
To find 2 red eyes staring at me in the darkness. ahahahahahah.. scary right............................ It really gave me a fright.

Here's another shot with flash.
So yesterday night I turned off the battery before I sleep and even turned the pig face down, just in case. I don't want another shock : to find 2 lit red eyes staring at me even after I have turned off the battery~~!! hahahahahaha....

Yong Yong's ROM ~

Yong Yong and Jacky finally registered married~! Here's one of my gift for her. I thought it looked really cute. At the Registry of Marriage, exchanging their vows. This is the first time I attended a ROM, can you believe it?

Yong Yong looked very very beautiful on that day.

And she looked really happy with Jacky :)

YY invited us for dinner at the hotel.
She looked really happy that day~~

Natasha's gift : Precious Moment glasses.

Group photo. All the best to you guys, YY and Jacky~!
The rest of the photos are here : http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/ocean_goer/YYJacky_ROM/

Pig speaker!!

Guess what I bought for $9.90? A plush pig speaker!! With red eyes with light once you turn it on. *Evil looking*** but hey, it's cute! and cheap!!
Here's how it looks like beside my laptop. hehehehehe... it's a "huge" speaker i know... but it's cute!! The on and off buttons are on its hands. Volume control is on its feet. wahhh soooo nice loh... Pink~! It'll get dirty very soon I know. But hey! It's cute!! wahahahahaha...