What a lost - Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, our idol of all time, has gone to heaven.

What a lost. I loved all his songs and his performances. I grew up with his songs...

It's sad to see how he had became in the later part of his life. I personally believe he would be happy to die this way, if it was not intended. I mean, if it was not commit suicide. If it is purely accidental, I believe he would be happy to die this way. I believe he's worried about his appearance, his face in particular of course. His recent years' performance, he had always, always tried to hide his face.

Whatever it is, I hope he rests in peace. Michael, I love you. I will miss you. Hope you have found your Neverland.

2/7/09 NOte : I should not say he'd be happy to die this way. I believe he would love to perform at the O2 for his fan. There are people who said he's frail, he's not up to it. There are people who said he's energetic, and excited about the concert. WHo to believe? I BELIEVE he's up to it. I believe the photo that showed him rehearsing for the concert. Sigh. What a lost. Michael, I love you. We all love you.

Tioman Jun 09

Wow. THis year we only dive Tioman in June... Every year we will go in March or April...

So many hiccups before the actual day, end up only 6 of us going. But it was a great trip in the end!!

This is Abec, the dive guide and instructor at the dive shop. Trying to wind surf. There was only mild breeze. But he managed to move a short distance.
Xeno crab in Tioman~! And this is not the only one~ Last year people saw ghost pipefish in Tioman. This year, xeno crab~ never really saw it in Tioman before~

Reeno, the dive shop owner dive with us throughout~ brought us to see many things. If we didn't dive with him, probably won't see these xeno crabs.

A xeno crab, and a shrimp on the same whip coral! I only noticed this shrimp when I checked the pictures! kekeke....

It was extremely foggy on Friday morning along the roads to Mersing. Even at 8+am it was still covered with thick fog. The visibility on the road was also limited! That was the first time I experienced such thick fog in low land... It was the same on Tioman. 8+am the sun was already very high up, and it was still foggy. It wasn't haze. I wonder what's going on..

Big fat Jorunna funebris. Saw a couple of them.


This was so small, no one was sure what it was. Reeno was also not sure. Until we zoomed in in the photos and saw the pincers. Should be a crab then. Half way taking its photo it "flew off"!! I didn't touch it and I didn't make big movement. Scared me!! I tried to catch it but it just won't rest on my palm. Luckily my friend George was beside me and saved it to a safer spot.. Gosh.. What a scare...

A different colour xeno crab.

Now I know how this kind of photo was taken. Kekekekeke... Too bad mine wasn't a DSLR camera..

That's a nudibranch you looking at. hehehe.. See the body and rhinophores?

This looks fun ya~

Snake eel right in front of the beach!! Only at about 1.8m deep if I remember correctly.

THe shrimp was almost invisible. Reeno enjoyed finding the tinniest thing which is sooo difficult to shoot..

Pipefish! The others have seen this in Tioman but it was the first for me, so I was really really excited about it~! And it wasn't shy at all.
After 2 dives on Saturday, my friends Winnie, George and Ivan didn't want to do the third. I urged them on (Reeno heard me) for another dive (I wanted another 2 dives actually, kekeke), just one. But they didn't want to, looked at me laughing.. hahaha... Then Reeno talked about the next dive, and asked me "You want to dive, right?" and I said "but I need a buddy..." Then he said "Dive with me lah." (or was it "I dive with you lah."?) wahhhhh.. so honoured~ VIP status like that ya. Sooooooooooo happy.

Afterwards, the rest of the boats were full and I said to Akemi(Reeno's wife who handles logistic), forget it, I don't dive then. But then Reeno came asked me about the next dive again, I said there's no space in any of the boats. Him and George said just do shore dive! Since the seahorse is at house reef (Reeno told us earlier). I have forgotten about that! GREAT then!! YAY!! kekeke...

And TADA~! The biggest find of the trip!!! This was after 5pm. The next morning went the same site again, this time with Ivan, George and Winnie, but the seahorse didn't come out. There're plenty of places for the seahorse to hide in these hard corals. If they don't want to come out there's simply no way of seeing them. I guess they prefer to come out in the evening huh.
I must thank George and Winnie too, heehee.. for helping me to do shore entry. It was hard for me to stand up after donning the gears on the stairs, very heavy for me, both of them helped me get up. heehee.. I was also clumsy at wearing fins half submerged in the water when the waves keep pounding. Wahhhhhh, felt so much like a VIP this dive!! 2 people assisted me and dive with Reeno (along with 2 Japanese female divers)!!!! heeheehehee...
It's a bright yellow seahorse, sooo pretty. But it was too shy. Difficult to take photo. But this is good enough. I'm happY! This dive lasted 96minutes. Luckily it wasn't too cold and it's shallow. The deepest we went was 11+m.

Reeno thinks too highly about me. He didn't know about my "blur" and "losing way" history. kekeke. When we talked about doing house reef again on Sunday morning, he said to me "You know where the seahorse is right?"

........................................

My face went blank....he went on to tell me which buoy it is. I couldn't even understand which buoy he was talking about and that's ON LAND! In the end, he said he should be not going out on Sunday morning, he'll go with us again. Wahhhhhhhhhhhh.............. soooooooooooooooo nice right? Ohh hohohoho... happy!!!

This time we went to 13+m. Muck diving at 10+m. There were soooooooooo many gobies. Everywhere on the sandy floor. And all kinds of colours. George saw a flounder with 3 pairs of vivid fake eyes on its body. Really weird stuff! I was hoping for a blue ring octopus, or bobtail squid or something, I know I hope too high, kekeke.. but Reeno said there is one blue ring at er... I forgot where. Paiseh. hehe.

Nice sunset~

George saw this preying mantis in toilet. It slit a small cut on George's finger. I asked George, "Pain or not?" hahaha... George said "Of course lah!" hahahaha.... soooo funny... I wasn't teasing him but I really wondered pain or not. hahaha.... That's Ivan's body by the way.

Fish attack!! It bit Reeno's calf, luckily Reeno wasn't wearing a shorty. Reeno wore a few layers of rash guards and wetsuits...hahaha. He said "One hour's dive leh" . I totally respect that. Rather than pretending to be a hero and wear a shorty and shivers like crazy on boat afterwards (I've seen such instructor before) which is really... stupid.. hehe.

This is a tiny tiny shrimp.. Reeno is really good at finding the tinniest stuff.
Shrimp in feather star. Reeno got his hand full of feather star for this pic...

Mila, Ivan, George, Louisa, Winnie, me and Reeno the man! He's preparing his strobe. Eric Leong coming with big big expensive camera on Sunday.

Took this pic in the van~
It was a great trip, mainly thanks to Reeno lah. Otherwise we probably see the normal stuffs we always see at Tioman only. Also, everyone's great fun. This was also the first trip we took a ferry which the seat is adjustable, even have trays! Like an airplane! Only lack of stewardass. We actually sneaked in the ferry at 2:30pm although our ferry was supposed to be the one at 4:30pm. And that was a big and fast ferry. We arrived at Mersing a little faster than usual.

I was a very happy diver this weekend~ kekekeke....

See all photos here : http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y34/ocean_goer/Tioman_Jun09/

Going Tioman

Going Tioman for diving in about 8 hours' time.

It is really not a good day huh... my friends cancelled one by one by one by one....

Anyway, pray for good weather for me!! I will take photos back !! Will be back on Sunday night~

A cocoon

Look at this! It's a cocoon! I saw it last last week, in the toilet. I climbed on a stool and I saw something moving in it, should be a caterpillar, moving its head left and right to encase itself.

2weeks has passed. Nothing came out of it. I wonder how long does it takes for it to emerge as either butterfly or moth. I suspect it's a moth.

When you look closely, it's very strange. It's not like the usual cocoon which is a hardcase. This looks like a lot of very short hair gathered and stuck together...
I hope I get to see what comes out of it~!

20/7/09 Note : We never saw anything came out of it. One day I just saw a line of stain (liquid flowed down). There was another of this "cocoon" near the toilet window. It too had that stain. I guess the bugs in it was gone. The cocoon itself didn't look much different. Too bad, didn't see what came out of it.

Mt Kinabalu video后序

I got most of the Mt K info from this website http://mount-kinabalu-borneo.com/ . I wrote to the author of that blog to seek his permission to use those information. He granted.

I sent him the video when it's done. And he liked it and even post my video on his blog~ wohoa! Almost everyone who wants to climb Mt K will eventually come to this website. So happy~ !!

Mount Kinabalu video~

Finally completed our Mt Kinabalu video. But this is only the part about mountain climbing. THere will be another video for our visits in KK town.

By the way, thanks to Gabriel who lent me the video camera.

Click on image to see each video in Youtube. Enjoy~!


Part I

Part II

Tea session at home

I invited YY and YK to my house on Sat. We wanted to have tea session in my garden :D

Couple of weeks ago, my bro bought and planted grass patches. I helped him a bit when I came back from badminton session. It was such a hot day! After a while under the sun, I was almost soaking wet.



So this is how it looks like at the end. There are gaps between the grass patches because this way we don't have to buy a whole lot of grass and can just let it slowly grow and cover the whole ground.

YK and YY. When I wanted to take "natural photo", they became unnatural. LOL. Notice the awkward smile for photo on the left. hahaa...
And my bro just bought a nice handmade teapot for flower tea, just nice for the occasion~

Here's a candle lamp YK bought me, from Ikea. Really nice isn't it? My cactus on the left is growing healthily. The bear pot was bought from Daiso.

YY and me. I specially bought Japanese sweet potato from SG back to JB. hahaha. My mother asked me why I offered my friends sweet potato.. (she thinks it's not presentable) but it's healthy food and they all loved it~

Heaven was sort of playing pranks on us, rained a few drops, stopped, rained another few drops... When it started raining we moved our tables back under the roof. When it looked like it wasn't going to rain we moved back into the garden, as it feels better in the garden itself ~

We moved back and forth twice.... hahaha.. so busy~! My mother and bro also helped us moved in and out... haha.. Until we didn't want to move anymore, the rain was only slightly more than a drizzle... I took out our biggest umbrella and just hold it like that in one hand, another hand eating my sweet potato. hahaha.. kind of ridiculous. kekeke...

老天不做美,天天都那么热，偏偏在今天下雨。no choice. But it was fun~ it feels really good to sit in the garden~ a better weather next time~

Finally a fitting lense!

Finally finally finally!! The contact lense, the 4th pair, fits on my eyes!! This 4th pair are from another brand, it's much thinner than the previous ones and thus not only that the "base curve" fits my eyes finally, it's also very comfortable. I'm sooooooooo happy!!!

However, now that it fits, it has a possibility of too tight fitting. Hahaha.. because previous pairs which were very loose, I can sleep with the lense on for 1,2hours. But this pair, yesterday I closed my eyes (not really sleeping) for 1+hours and rest as I got nothing to do. When I woke up my eyes were blurry.... like looking into thin smoke. I tried to take the lense out but I couldn't. They were kind of stuck on my eyes... I had to put eyedrops again and again until I could take them out.

Guess I just have to bring eye drop with me all the time, just it case it gets too tight and too dry (too tight oxygen can't flow). This is one small problem, but I'm happy enougH!

Horrible dream

Gosh... horrible...

I dreamt of my wedding day... and it wasn't fun.

My wedding gown was in the form of a short, guess this is because I saw a similar design on tv. I had to collect my own wedding gown just hours before the wedding itself. And I had to pay for the gown by myself. But I did look cute in the wedding gown though. hahahahah.....

I had pony tails on each side of my head.. long fringe combed to a side. It did go well with the cute looking shortpants-wedding-gown.. But then my make up... my face was so red that I looked like 关公..... *faint*

But that's not the worse part. The worst part is.....

When my "husband-to-be" came to test his wedding suits, instead of giving me a hug or a kiss, he tapped on my shoulder............... he merely tapped my shoulder!

I was in my wedding gown by then, and I began to have doubts. Do I want to marry a guy who just tap on my shoulder as a greeting to his future wife??

Usually in my dreams involving unknown guys, the face is blur. This dream however, I saw his face. He was a decent looking guy, very decent, with side parting hair, neatly combed to one side. Neat and shiny hair. Not my kind of guy.

I kept hesitating right before the wedding. It was horrible...........

And then I woke up and I was late. Usually I hate to wake up in the middle of a dream. This time, I was so glad... horrible....

Never get married for the sake of getting married.

Can you give me some money?

I was in the bus, this man approached me and asked for some money and said that because he couldn't find a job.

I politely refused by smiling and shook my head.

But I felt bad.

He went back to his seat behind (there're not a lot of ppl on the upper deck). A while later he approached another woman and she shook her head too.

I don't like this happening to me but it happens all the time. I mean, there's a big possibility that he's a drug addict or someone who is lazy to get a job. My bro said nowadays there're a lot of young people beg for living, not because they are disabled, not because they can't find a job. But they simply didn't try to find a job and chose this easier way to get money.

I said I don't like this because, I could just give him a couple of bucks, no matter he's telling the truth or not. I can just treat it as any donation. If he's lying, he's the one committing a sin. However, I don't like to be cheated. I don't like the idea that my hard earn money goes to someone who is not genuinely in need of help.

And this left me in a dilemma EVERY TIME. I feel guilty for not giving him only a couple of bucks, in case he's telling the truth. But I also feel disgruntled if I give him the money when I'm unable to know whether he was telling the truth.

And it made me feel like a bad person.

I was cheated by a fake monk before, bastard Chinese national fake monk. WHen I see such fake monk again on the street I feel like kicking their asses. And we've all encountered people who said they've lost their wallet and asked for a few bucks to take bus home or something. Those are definitely fraud. Next time I meet such people, I will tell him "I bring you to police station and you ask the policeman to help you." And see what his response is.

What would you do if it were you?

Another fear over

Finally got my other and last wisdom tooth extracted. It was decaying very badly. Whew.... This time it was much faster, A LOT faster. Previous one, this female doctor had to used quite a lot of force, this time it was like, only a quarter of the effort. And I didn't feel the tooth coming out, although it doesn't hurt because of the anaesthetic but it's horrible to feel your tooth being pulled out. This time it was all over in perhaps 20seconds! What a relieve! :D

I've been procrastinating to get this tooth extracted. Now it's all over~ Happy!!

Still, I hate the feeling of losing control of the muscles around one side of my throat (due to the anaesthetized area too close to the throat). It felt suffocating, it felt I'm about to be drown in my own saliva. It was a horrible thing. This time round I required only 2 shot of anaesthetic instead of 3. So I guess it was not that bad compare to last time. But it's still horrible.

I really love this Dr Tan. Friendly and gentle. Ahh... I'm so delighted it was over. hahaha...

Sleep under the moonlight

For the past 2 nights, I had been sleeping under the moonlight, literally.

The moon had been on the Southern side around midnight, where my window is facing. My bed is directly below the window.

The night before yesterday, I saw a light cast on my bed near my pillow, which was unusual. I looked out to search for the source of the light. Turned out it was the moon! It was full moon. And the sky for the past 2 nights had been extremely clear. Since it was full moon and hardly any cloud, the moon reflected the light from the sun quite brightly. And the light was cast on my bed.

The first night the light was cast on the left side of my pillow (around 1am). The second night, it was on the right side of my pillow (around 12:30am). Both nights, I slept facing where the light was. I purposely slept with a position which had the light either cast on my face or my hand. Why? No particular reason. Only because it's rare. How many times can you have the chance to sleep under the moonlight? Except when you go and sleep on the beach.

Maybe I can 吸收日月精华(absorb the "essence" of the sun and moon)? hahahahahaha.... Saturday afternoon I helped my bro planted grass for a few hours under extremelyl strong sun. I already absorbed the "sun's essence". Now I absorbed the moon's essence. wahaha...

Crazy old woman ya? hahaha...

Dream comes true, literally

Call me GOD. wahaha...

Yesterday I dreamt SL and I went holiday. And today Tiger Airways is having $1 promotion and we bought tickets to Kota Kinabalu! We ARE going holiday afterall!! My dream really do come true! wahahahahah...

But in my dream there was EK as well, but she's not available on that date.

And in my dream we share room, no, it's not a room it's just a "space", we share the space with bangla ........! This part definitely cannot come true, man!! hahaha....

The other day I dreamt my mum strike a $100,000 lottery and 2 days later she almost did!!! The number she bought almost came out, shucks!!

I must continue to work on my "dream power" and foresee 4D number. wahahahaha... Just kidding lah...........

Searching for THE bra

I need a sports bra.

I saw an Adidas sports bra weeks ago. But as I just exercised at the gym, I felt not so nice to try out the garment since I just sweat although I was already perfectly dried up after dinner and in the air cond space. But I was still in my gym wear. People can tell I just went exercise. So I intended to come again next time.

Less than a week later I went back the shop. And that particular design was gone!! FUCK!

My considerate behaviour backfired on me!! Fuck...

Today, I went to Orchard, in search of that particular piece I saw.

I first went to Pacific Plaza, then Wheelock Place, then Wisma Atria, then Taka, then Heeren, then back to Atria again, then back to Wheelock again..................... I'll spare you the details why I go back Wheelock again... I walked a rather fast pace for 2 hours... And I didn't get what I want. I wonder how much calories have I burnt...

And I made a mistake at work today, again. FUCK.

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

What a day. What a fucking day.

You and your attitude

I have promised myself I will not shed any tears for you again.

Yet your annoying attitude made me broke my own promise.

Why have you never give me any words of encouragement and yet still said my friends' encouragement are words of deceit?! Everybody needs some encouragement. Since long time ago I hardly get any encouragement from you. Every time I happily tell you something I've achieved, even if it's just a small thing, it means something to me, but you will say to me things like "很厉害meh?" When I complaint you said you were just joking. Joke for you, NOT for me. It wasn't funny. It hurts.

And it happened again. Sometimes I wish you can split into two and listen to the way you talk to people from an outsider's view. Ah but it won't help, because it's the same you even if you split into two. You said I only listened to my friends. (You were wrong. I always quote what you said to my friends.) You have complaint about the same thing about your ex to me too, many years ago. I am beginning to think it's the way you say things. It's not about us, it's about you.

You said "Now only run 2.4km, how to run 10km?" The way you said it, your tone of voice, was not encouraging at all and you said it wasn't negative.

I've only started training last week, only started to run outdoor one week, ONE WEEK! What more do you want from me? I've NEVER been able to run 2.4km straight even on treadmill and now I did it outdoor and all you can say was that. Like anybody is going to continue listening to you after that.

I know you and your army people very 了不起. but I am not army people. You and other once-army-NS friends, think nothing of Mt Kinabalu. Yeah you all very 了不起. And I'm useless for not reaching summit. Everyone said things like "At least you made it to Laban Rata", "At least you tried". WHat have you ever said to me? To you army people Mt K is NOTHING. Yeah well I'm not army people. I never even like to run 100m when I was schooling. I made it to Laban Rata and I'm already very proud of myself. I could have tried to make it to summit but I chose not to. Because I want to go back in one piece. Because I don't want to be so selfish to try it when I'm not confident and risk my life. Because my parents would be heart broken if anything happens to me. I can always try it again next time when I'm more confident.

You think your words are 忠言逆耳. Maybe they are but you should really step back and listen to the way you say things. I always respect what you said. It's the way you say things that made me rebut you.

Arh whatever. Who am I to you? I'm just a "friend" now, just a friend who doesn't even get a birthday gift from you. I don't want to shed tears because of you anymore ever again.