Love the imperfection

I’ve always wanted to write about imperfection, but always have something else to write.

I usually spend a lot of time when choosing the one thing I decided to buy. I mean, not the time spend on considering whether to buy it or not, but choosing the one out of maybe 20 or 30 same things in front of me.

For example, a book or a soft toy. And after sooo…. much time spent on choosing it, I often ended up buying one which is not perfect, ie. part of the thing I chose was torn or broken. Of course I only discovered that after I got home.

After many incidents like this, I learnt something.

I bought a piggy soft toy some time ago. I chose and chose, the one I finally bought, part of it was, again, torn. I felt a second of disappointment but then, rather than being upset about it, I got out the needle and threads and stitched the torn part. Though it’s not as pretty as those which were not torn, I was happy with this piggy that I chose. I could go back to the store to change it but I chose not to. And I’m happy with this imperfect piggy.

Instead of being unhappy about my purchase, I’ve learnt to be happy about it. I’ve learnt to accept the imperfection. I know this is “small, trivial purchase”, no big deal. But we should start everything from small, shouldn’t we?

My favourite quote :
Why be unhappy about something, if it can be remedied? And what is the use of being unhappy about something, if it cannot be remedied? By Shantideva
Unquote.

(Don’t ask me who is Shantideva.. I got this from a Buddhist book I never finished…)

Then we come to the love affair.

As everybody knows, nobody is perfect. We sometimes expect a lot from people around us, especially husbands and boyfriends… And many women hope to change their men because men have many obnoxious habits. Oh, come on, don’t deny. MEN, ARE like that. And I mean EVERY man in this universe. Maybe there is 0.01% of exception but that’s too insignificant to talk about.

I’m telling you, men can NEVER change. I’ve always told anyone who is willing to listen, DO NOT try to change a man in any way. You’ll only get yourself devastated. Yes, they might change when they are crazily in love with you. But it WON’T last. It NEVER will.

So why not just love the way he is? You fall in love with a man like that, then love the way he is! I know it’s easier said than done lah… but still…

We girls are not so perfect ourselves, in fact, nobody is perfect. So we should really learn to accept each other’s imperfection. When I fall in love with a man, I love the man he IS. Not the man I HOPE he is.

I quote Banana Booze :

Love is enhanced when we complement each other’s imperfection.

Unquote.

That’s very well said. I sought his advice for the title of this post then he said the above. That’s gotta be in this post of mine, I thought.

I can never say enough, DO NOT, EVER, attempt to change a man. It’s silly, it’s pointless. Period.

Love thy imperfect other half.

p.s. I think I sooo.. can be Dr.Love or something.. hahaha.. there I go… indulging in my 自恋症again…
One of these days, I should write a post about how to be a better gfren/bfren/husband/wife thingy. Yeah, that’s what I am going to write.