Possibly alone

Hmm.....I am thinking, possibly, I shall be alone now and for the rest of my life... What makes me say that? Well, superficially, it seems that I don’t set a very “high standard” when looking for that special someone, but the truth..?

First thing, I love animals. My that special someone doesn’t have to be as passionate about animals much as I do (though it’s best if he does) BUT he CANNOT be someone who’s afraid of animals… Some people are scared of dogs (or any other animals) due to some traumatic experiences in the past. That’s totally understandable. But some guys do scared of bats, (usually) harmless pythons in zoos, etc... I just cannot accept that... If he’s more scared of these animals than I do, how do you expect him to protect me?? Do I have to protect him instead??

I once helped out at a place where people can take photos with a 3 year old tigress. Most of the time, girls are very keen but their boyfriends usually try to discourage them. More guys than girls that I saw were more afraid to stand behind the tigress and take photos.

And I've also stood beside a cheetah, hand on her head and took photos (not wild cheetah in Africa of course), some people think that’s extremely scary and couldn’t understand why I did that (my mum, for one, thinks I'm crazy). But it was ok, it got my adrenalin running, but not THAT scary. Again, if a guy thinks such an act is crazy and scary, how to expect him to protect me? Oh, don’t ask me to tell it here, where and how I got to stand beside a cheetah (with me back facing 2 other very-tensed-not-so-friendly-looking unchained cheetahs..). I can’t tell. And I’m not bullshitting. I have the photos but I can’t publish it. I’d get somebody into serious trouble if I do. I’ll show the photo personally if anyone wants to see it. But as much as I love to, I can’t publish it.

(Oh I have to add this, having got the chance to see cheetahs upclose and touch one of it was AMAZING, UNBELIEVABLE.... They are magnificent creatures, very very beautiful. I've always dream of a chance to get close to cheetahs and I've got my dream fulfilled. You can't understand how happy I was when it happened. AMAZING... Like I was in a dream... I couldn't believe how lucky I was... I was smilling all the way back home. hahahaha... My next dream is to be able to hug baby chimpanzees and orang utans.. When will I get the chance? )

Secondly, if I realized my common or general knowledge is better than the guy… Then let’s not waste each other’s time… …… I’m not a graduate but it doesn’t mean that I’m NOT clever, I merely chose a different path. And I’m NOT saying I’m so clever or anything like that. But exactly because I’m not so great myself, if the guy’s general knowledge is worse than me…… then... it’s not acceptable. Some guys’ common knowledge and common sense are really bad, you know... Perhaps… because my ex-boyfriend is really knowledgeable, so I got used to that...… I know it’s not fair to compare… I tried not to. But if, through conversations, I feel that I know many common things and the guy doesn’t, then...
I need someone who can take care of me in all aspect.. not the other way round……

This reminds me. I used to ask my brother when I came across English words that I didn’t know. (Yes, I was lazy to look up dictionary… at that time I haven’t got my e-dict and yes, I hate book type dict). And of course there’ll be times when he doesn’t know the word and I’ll go, “HOW COME YOU DON’T KNOW???”… Then he will say something like why must he know everything? And he 拿我没办法 and laughed and said, “It’s really tough being your brother leh…”

So…I guess it’ll be tougher to be my boyfriend, eh? The first criteria, he has to be my “walking dictionary”… hahahaha… just kidding… I’ve got my e-dict now, so he can shed this responsibility of his shoulder.. LOL…..

Speaking of “walking dictionary”, I used to asked my English teacher for the meaning of words that we don’t understand, instead of bringing a dictionary to school as she had instructed us to. One day, she got fed up and said something like this, “Asked you all to bring dictionary don’t want lah? Some of you think I am a walking dictionary.” …and she “accidentally” looked over to where I was sitting………


p.s. Through my posts, you can easily feel that I'm super zi-lian(自恋), and maybe, think very highly of myself. hahaha.... but I wasn't like this many years ago. I used to feel inferior because of my height. But height is something that I cannot change (unless I spend tens of thousands of money and have my leg bone broken, not be able to stand or walk for months to "extend" the leg bone). I came to accept this and feel good about myself (though I still hate to stand beside people taller than 175cm.. ). And I love myself more each day, love it to the bone. muahahahaha... When you love yourself, you'll have confidence. No matter how one looks, confidence is very very important. How you poise yourself, the way you talk, etc.. And having confidence will actually make someone looks prettier or more charming~

Thus, I love the way I love myself. Period.

For those who reads my blog, I say, "Thank you." And thank you for enduring with most of my 自恋posts and not puking... hahahahhaa.. well, perhaps you did puke.. but that's ok, as long as you read my blog. hahaha...