More and more

As time goes by, I just get more and more secluded. More and more like Shi Xiong, more and more don't like to talk to people.

More and more things don't go my way. More and more disappointments. More and more unhappiness.

People my age, should live life to the fullest. I live the opposite, it seems like.

Diving is the only thing that makes me happy now. Oh, and also being able to be with animal would make me the happiest person in the world too. Sadly, both of them don't come easy. My mum wouldn't even allow us a dog. She has her reasons of course, yada yada yada... but it upsets me, I think my brother too.

My mother dislikes that I love diving and that I go diving frequently. Frequent as in her perception. To me, going diving 3-5 times a year (regardless where it is) is consider normal. She said it's dangerous, asked me to go Japan and see sakura. BUT I HAVE NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in sakura. It gets on my nerve every time she asked me to go somewhere that don't interest me. My interest, is the ocean and jungle. Ask me to see sakura? I rather save the money to go into the jungle.

Diving can be as safe or as dangerous as you make it. As long as you follow the guidelines, things should be fine. Even if I die while diving, I said to my mum, I'd die happily.

My mood is at the bottom of a valley right now. It sucks. Sucks a hell lot. There are so many fucking obstacles in life. Why do we even live? The older I get the more I do not wish to bring life to this world. But of course, I don't even have a husband now to talk about bringing life to this world. Who am I kidding? ...........