I've "improved"!

Yesterday I was dammmnnnn sleepy at work... and was on the verge of falling asleep in no time... I was to write my colleague's name at the back of a cheque, but instead, I wrote : "emperor can't"........................................................

I was really half asleep and half dreaming already..... I can't remember what dream was that that made me wrote about "emperor"... but it was soooooo funny when I looked at what I've wrote.

Remember this, Sleepy In Class. I wrote "1130" instead of "いる ". Now I "improved"... "emperor can't".... very funny...

Birdies

Hey hey, see this. I've been wanting to catch a glimpse of these birds for a long time. They'll be around every morning, making loud bird calls. Sorry, I don't know what is the correct word for "bird calls". Shouldn't be "chirp", chirp should be a different kind of bird calls. Previously when I rushed in my room to take my binoculars, by the time I rushed out they were gone. It's like that all the time. They can be there for a long time, when you want to take a closer look, they'd fly away. By "close" I mean, a few meters away.

Today, much to my delight they had been very cooperating Perched on the branches on the tree in front of my house for a very longgg time. They were about 4 to 5 meters high on the branches.

You can see their red eyes. These photos were taken by my bro's camera Olympus C-750. Extended to its full 10 times zoom. My hands were shaking bad but the photos came out well. I couldn't have taken these photos with my Sony W5 for it only has 3 times zoom. I always ponder, if i were to go to Africa, which camera should I bring... C-750 has 10times zoom, very useful to take photos of animals at a distance away. However C-750's shutter speed is slower, focusing takes longer than my W5, much longer... W5 is so much faster in its shutter speed. It's important because animals don't just stay there waiting for you to take their picture. Well, unless you are taking photos of a sloth.
And I were to bring both, I'd become clumsy.. with so many stuffs hanging on me. So I guess the best solution is... buy a new camera with 10times zoom and faster shutter speed~! hahaha.. yeah right... wait long long...

They look very much like crows but they are not. I like their calls. There is another kind of bird which will call in the morning too. But it seems those kind of birds are getting lesser, as I don't hear their calls as much as when I was younger. And I have no idea what they look like either. Their calls sound similar to those sound we play before an announcement.

It seemed like this 2 birds are dancing to each other, "courting session in progress", I guess. hehe.. Check out a short video here :

Bird dance

Though I am not a big fan of birds, but it's always interesting to see them, to see any living creatures which we don't usually see. Right?

Oh God... such deep cut...

Oh my God........ Yesterday Gabriel helped me to make something for my Miko's cage using some wood. Actually I've made it myself but we were thinking to make a better one... I don't have proper equipment so he used pen-knife to cut the wood board. He had always been careful when it comes to things like this but... such bad luck yesterday, he accidentally cut his left index finger! and the wound reached the bone!!! It's about 4cm long....

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Blood came rushing out, he is taking blood thinning medicine, his blood don't stop that fast as usual people. He called out something and said, "Have to go to hospital liao.."

I almost panic... We used tissue and wrapped around his finger and applied direct pressure on it. We reached hospital A & E in a short while and waited for about an hour before he went in to the Operating Theater. He was in there for more than 30minutes... I was so anxious... He got 5 stitches to his wound... 5 stitches... man...

I was really worried that he had cut his nerves but didn't, it actually missed by just a little bit... Every time I think about it my heart still skips a beat... 4cm long on index finger.. that's a huge part of on the finger........... and when I think about the feeling when the knife cut through our flesh so deep.... Jesus.....

While we were rushing to the hospital, Miko was out of her cage in my room. I have got no time to lure her or catch her back to her cage. And I don't hold her cos she'll bite me. She hates being hold. So I just turn off electricity in case she somehow reach those wires (they are placed high up). And I prayed she won't have any accident in my room. Else when I come back from human hospital I'd have to go animal hospital..

It's all my fault. If only I just be happy with the one I made then none of these would happened. sigh... so sad... so sad.... Gab asked me not to worry, and that it's only a small injury but it's not... such deep cut... sigh... sad....

Miko "cried"

I put Miko in her new cage yesterday despite her "protest" - bite the cage bar very very forcefully. From my observation her protest was less than the night before yesterday. I locked her there and went to sleepy.

To my surprise, she "cried"- made "wuwuwuwu" sound, the sound she'd make when she's moody. And she cried 3 times... never happened before. She made me soooo heartpain. So I pulled the cage until just beside my bed, called her name and sayang her a bit. But I didn't sayang her too much cos when times like this she tends to get angry and might bite my finger. But I keep calling her name.

She made a lot of noise by jumping here and there... caused me to sleep late.. and bad dreams about her. Luckily this morning she was fine as usual. But she was still biting the cage.. I hope she'll get used to the new cage soon.. It's very stressed for her and me if she still behaves like that.

Video - Miko begs for treats

Here's a video showing Miko begging for food. Again, the video is very dark.. no choice...
Miko

I miss the books

I have been so tired ever since I started my secretary course in August. It's just a short, easy course, twice a week, plus my Japanese course, it's thrice a week. They are not as difficult as the courses in Poly for sure. Yet it already made me so tired. I salute those people who takes up part-time Poly and Uni course.

Tired is one thing, I don't have the time to read other books now. That is something I really miss. When I buy diving magazines or National Geographic, most of the time I just browse through and never read up thoroughly, which is a shame. This reminds me of one incident. One day I had to wait for Gab so I anyhow chose a magazine, Her World and read it at McD while waiting for him. I regretted sooooo much for buying that magazine. Fashion photos take up 90% of the few hundred pages magazine. Such a waste of my money. I know it's a fashion magazine but didn't expect almost 90% of it are just photos and ads. I would never buy such magazines again.

Anyway, hope I can finish and pass the secretary course without any problem around June 07. Though my Japanese course will still be ongoing. But it's just once a week. So I can enjoy reading freely again by then.

Finally got sun for sun tan

I had not been going to the pool for soooo.. many weeks due to weather and some other matters.

I always reach the pool at sharp 2pm (it closes between 12noon - 2pm), the cashier wasn't even ready yet. And there was nobody else at the pool for almost an hour~ soooo.. shiok. Like I own the pool. I managed to sun tan a bit by lying at the edges of the pool. Because, their sun tan chairs, are tied to the longkang cover. And the longkang does not smell like perfume, ok? They tied it that way, that your head will be directly above the longkang. I tried once to tan on the chair and OH MY GAWD~! I couldn't survive for 3 seconds.... The stench is horrible.

I tan for about one hour and then swam for a while. It feels so good to swim~ I love sun tanning and I love swimming~!

Miko's update and new cage!

Check it out~ The new cage I bought for my dear Miko~~ It's almost twice the height of the current one. It's got 3 levels. This cage cost me a total of S$111. I even bought a hammock for her~ The hammock is damn ex, over S$20~

I have not move Miko into this new cage yet. Because the base is without wire mesh, I didn't pee pan train Miko so I can't let her use this cage yet. Else she'll get her pee all over her body. Yesterday I had an exam, and after the exam was finished I went to buy stainless steel wire mesh for the cage. It costs me only $10~ soooo happy... I thought it'll be very expensive. It wasn't cut perfectly even though my measurement was perfect. So I had to do some amendment and add some things to it. Thank goodness everything worked so far.

Look at her checking out her cage. But hor.. she didn't seem too interested in this cage. Wasn't really interested to jump to second and third level. And she never even stepped into the hammock.

Though of course when she moves in, she'll definitely explore everything. But as for now, she is more interested in the "basement" - under the cage. hahahaha.... she likes to squeeze into places.


This is my Miko's 招牌动作 begging for treats. It is soooo adorable... so it's hard to resist her. I will post a video of this soon. She will "scratch" the cage especially the top part and turn her back and head to look at me. Sooooo funny...

She likes to be caress under her big ears, under her arms and belly, she doesn't like to be pat like how we pat a dog. If I pat her butt area, chances are she will turn to bite my hand soon.

This is how she looks like normally.


If I pat her head, and her ears will go back like a dog would.
And so... she looks like an alien head. hahahaha....

Look at her tiny hands.... and I find her tiny lips very very cute.

Take a good look at her tiny hands, you can see her tiny tiny fingernail!! cute~ isn't it? (click on pic to see bigger size pic)

Chin matters

I am so attached to my Miko. I think about her a lot even when at work. She's ADORABLE. She's got a bad temper (like owner like chin) but I still love her.

Every time I look at her I'd feel so happy, like looking at my own daughter. Nowadays I am thinking about the possibility of getting her a companion. I do think it's quite lonely for her when I am not around. But getting a second chin is no easy business. There is a possiblity that they won't get along. And the fur that both of them are going to shed in my tiny room... oh I can't imagine that... Even with just one chin, when I open my vacuum cleaner's bag (Akira doesn't sell disposable bag elsewhere other than its own showroom in Jurong! ), it's a whole bag of fur... Wonder if I'd get asthma...

However, seeing 2 chins cuddle together is such a 幸福 scene.... but Miko is unlike typical chin, she's almost half the normal chin size. If I get her a companion, must not be one that's normal size which is much bigger than her. I think that won't be easy.

I guess it's not quite possible right now to get another chin. Shall see how.

Jay Chow?

One night, I had a dream about Jay Chow.

Somebody in my dream said to me that Jay Chow is soooo stylish and soooo handsome.

Immediately I puked and puked and puked...

~The End~

What a dream

Just when my hair has reached the more manageable length, I stupidly went to have an haircut. I want my hair to be V-shape and layered. But the girl cut my till quiet short, from front view. The length of my hair at the back remained the same but the front view.. I look like I have short hair again and my head looks like a football. Just hope my hair will grow faster.

Then I went to have a nap. It's been a long time I haven't take a nap during a cool rainy afternoon.

And I had the weirdest dream. I was at a kampung like place, and playing video games. Outside, my aunt and other aunties were happily throwing bodies into a hole, and those bodies then went in and become part of the video games. I took a glance. Bodies, as in dead people, real dead, half decomposed bodies. Those bodies were sliced into half, became 2 pieces, not left and right pieces, but front and back. Like the thin roti of Ah Kun Roti being sliced into even thinner pieces. And my aunt and those aunties were enjoying themself. My aunt even flipped the bodies here and there trying to find whether the bodies' heads were still around, but they're not. (I dream about this because I saw a dvd cover about cannibalism when my bro and I were buying dvd today and I was damn curious abt it.)

Then, there were ghosts in that place. A mother and a daughter. I didn't really see them at first but I know they're there. They were disturbed by all our human activities. So they started to disturb us as well. Me and another girl.. don't know who that is, began to fight back. We won. But the ghost mother and daughter went and "请" the father from hell to help them. Funny, because they are ghost, and they have to do something in order to "请" the ghost father up to help them.

So, seeing that, I must do something as well. I asked my father to "请" his grandfather, which is my great grandfather to help us. And me and the girl fought the ghost mother and daughter. My great grandfather gave me his "power" and we fought them off.

And after that I became a little bit different, like I've gained some unusual "power".. haha... A dog barked and ran towards me and wanted to bite me. I fought hard with it at first but after a while, it succumbed and licked my hands instead. Just when I tried to understand what's going on, I woke up.

hehe... I love sleeping and dreaming~

More and more

As time goes by, I just get more and more secluded. More and more like Shi Xiong, more and more don't like to talk to people.

More and more things don't go my way. More and more disappointments. More and more unhappiness.

People my age, should live life to the fullest. I live the opposite, it seems like.

Diving is the only thing that makes me happy now. Oh, and also being able to be with animal would make me the happiest person in the world too. Sadly, both of them don't come easy. My mum wouldn't even allow us a dog. She has her reasons of course, yada yada yada... but it upsets me, I think my brother too.

My mother dislikes that I love diving and that I go diving frequently. Frequent as in her perception. To me, going diving 3-5 times a year (regardless where it is) is consider normal. She said it's dangerous, asked me to go Japan and see sakura. BUT I HAVE NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in sakura. It gets on my nerve every time she asked me to go somewhere that don't interest me. My interest, is the ocean and jungle. Ask me to see sakura? I rather save the money to go into the jungle.

Diving can be as safe or as dangerous as you make it. As long as you follow the guidelines, things should be fine. Even if I die while diving, I said to my mum, I'd die happily.

My mood is at the bottom of a valley right now. It sucks. Sucks a hell lot. There are so many fucking obstacles in life. Why do we even live? The older I get the more I do not wish to bring life to this world. But of course, I don't even have a husband now to talk about bringing life to this world. Who am I kidding? ...........

Lurking...

Something was lurking under my blanket..

Have to spend money again..

Thinking of buying my dear Miko a new cage... at least going to cost me S$100... but I think it's necessary, because her cage now is all rusty at the base due to her pee. The cage I saw yesterday has got 3 levels, and there's a hammock too~ The hammock itself cost over S$20! But the thing is, the base is a piece of wood which is not good. But I think I can buy some wire mesh somewhere and make the base myself, which is also ideal when I think about it. Because if the base is not fixed to the cage as a whole, when it get rusted I can just make a new one and replace the base instead of the whole cage~ and the cleaning will be much easier~ Excellent!

But the 2 levels are made of plastic, if I buy this cage, Miko won't be able to bite a hole and stuck her head there to sleep, which she enjoys tremendously in her current cage. I'd have to think of a way to create the same thing in her new cage then.. else I think she'd miss her old "home settings"..

I will go and buy it tomorrow. It's a promotional item...hope it's still available when I go there tomorrow. Have to take half day leave to wait for them at home for the delivery.. Man... my precious leave....................

My mother and father

I drove to Changi airport on Sat evening with my mother, to fetch my bro.

My mother is not very happy lately. My father's temper is getting worse as he grows older and also because of his illness. Illness shouldn't be an excuse. I know his character, always think he's right. I am afraid I'd grow old like him. But I am a lot more like my mother, character wise, thank God.

I know it's tough, when the two of them stay at home with not much work to do, while me and my bro are at work. Plus I am only back at home 2 days a week.

My mother has low self-esteem, for she was not given a chance to attend school. She was the eldest girl among 12 siblings. She was required to do all the house chores since she's a little kid. She tried to attend evening school but everyday she reached home, tonnes of clothes waiting for her to wash, tonnes of house chores waiting for her to do, albeit the fact that there are other family members at home. She had to quit the evening school after a short time. (She even had to do chores until midnight, on the night before her wedding day. She cried...while washing clothes.... My father didn't plan for their wedding that soon but after he saw how hard she had to work at home, he immediately asked her to marry him.)

My mother is a very clever woman, I believe she would be a very successful woman with a great career had she been given the chance to receive education. Not that she's not successful now, she is a successful, wonderful mother and a GREAT wife.

She had always worried that my brother and I will feel ashame of having an uneducated mother. I HAD NEVER felt any shame in any point of my life. She is a great mother, although she sometimes nags... like every mother does. (Sometimes I find myself nagging my bro like my mother does...)

She asked me again recently, that whether I find her useless. I told her not to think nonsense. That's all I said. It's not very convincing. I am not used to saying mushy things to my parents and brother... Just now in the car she mentioned about that again. I said, "Let me tell you, I never see you as a useless person." "You are..." I stopped for a few seconds, catching my breath.."the best person in the whole world."

She kept quiet.
I had to fight so hard to keep my tears from falling. THAT, was the most mushy, but sincerest thing I've ever said to her. It wasn't enough. I wanted to say she's the greatest mum in the world and I am very proud of her and I never for one second think she's useless. But I couldn't. I would cry if I open my mouth again. I never cried in front of her after I grow up. I hope she knows that, that, was my true feeling. Not just saying to make her happy. Actually my answer didn't quite answer her question... but.. I hope she understand what I wanted to tell her...

I hope she had received education like everybody else. Not because of shame that she thought me and my bro might feel (we never!) . It is because she is a clever, kind hearted and great woman. She would have done great things had she been educated. And it'll be much easier to tell her how much I love her, by writing her letters. I really cannot tell her verbally.. too mushy.
My mother, is an extremely kind hearted woman. Sometimes, too kind hearted. I am kind-hearted too (don't puke, it's true ) but I can be in no way in comparison to her. However such kind hearted character will be bullied in our hostile world now. But she's born like that, can't change. I think I inherited this character from her. She said if she open up a shop and have very good business, and the person next door has no business at all, she'd feel very bad. And if she can she'd probably give the person next door some business to do. She said she cannot stand seeing 可怜people . So am I. It makes me feel so bad, really bad, if I see someone with pitiful look, or having very bad business. One of the stalls in the canteen where I have lunch with my colleague, has very very little business while others have long queues. It breaks my heart seeing the old couple sitting/standing at their stall, looking bored. Seriously... it feels very very bad. But they sell chaitowkuay.. and popiah.. people hardly eat that for lunch... I don't like this character of mine. Cos it really makes me feel terribly bad when I see pitiful people or very old people who still need to work.

When I was born, I was the worse nightmare of a mother. I would cry once she put me to bed. I had to be carried ALL THE TIME. Thank goodness my father was a good husband and carried me throughout the night and let my mother sleeps. Nowadays my mother still talk about that whenever I mentioned about friends' newborn. She said my bro was so easy to take care of and I am the total opposite, a little devil. Every time, I would joke that that's because I am the monkey and my bro is the pig (my mum was born in the pig year my dad in monkey year). I said pig just eat and go to sleep obediently after that. Whereas monkey, a monkey baby cannot be put down by their mother. A monkey baby clings on tightly to its mother 24 hours a day and will cry if it's let down. So I am the monkey. haha...

I used to be very rebellious when I was in secondary school. Always quarrel with her. Most of the time it's my fault but I never said sorry. I wanted to but couldn't. Once, I wanted to say sorry to her so I walked into the kitchen. She was cooking. I walked in and out of the kitchen several times but I couldn't open my mouth to say sorry. In the end I still never did. I considered making a card to say sorry but it didn't materialize as well.

I behave better now.

My father was a typical father in typical chinese family who doesn't talk much. When we talk we often end up in arguements. He was the one whom I see carried me all the time in our black and white photos. I didn't have a photo of my mother carrying me... I remember when I was little my father always carried me here and there and I loved it. But we are not that close when I've grown up, actually we're quite distance.... I am full of envies when I saw on TV, Thailand's ousted premier Thaksin, holding his daughter's hand and walked out of a building...

I know he dotes me. But his always i-am-right character.. is hard to swallow. I try to chat with my father and be good to him but... a relationship doesn't take one person to build up. I know he's a typical traditional chinese man who never express himself well... but still...

When he was diagnosed with kidney failure, I did not show much concern. And one night he cried... he told my mother no one concerns about him................... When my mother told me that... can you imagine my guilt??? I almost cry but I fought back. I never cry in front of her. I stayed quiet. I think about that a lot, and I'd cry, for many times now....including now. I tried to treat him better....but it's hard. As I said, a relationship doesn't take one person to build...

Thus, I say... life is tough, way too tough. Why would I want to bring lives to this world and suffer? Too much emotion.. too much suffering.. Everybody has their own tales to tell... therefore, I ask... what is the purpose of our lives? I really do not know.

Sir David - Lifetime Achievement Award

Sir David Attenborough has been awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award 2006 in UK's National Television Award just a few days ago. I'm very happy for him

I realised I haven't search in Wikipedia to see what they've written about Sir David so I did. According to Wikipedia, he said this in a 2005 interview with BBC Wildlife magazine, he said he considered George W.Bush to be the era's top "environmental villain". Hear, hear!! Absolutely correct!

And I learnt a new word today, "agnostic"-One who believes that there can be no proof of the existence of God but does not deny the possibility that God exists. Sir Davis is an agnostic.

I always regard myself as "atheist"-One that disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.
I didn't know there is this word "agnostic". So now I should say I am an agnostic. By the way, agnostic is a noun, it looks like an adjective.

p.s. Did you know that Lord Richard Attenborough (see below), the old scientist in the Jurassic Park, is Sir David's older brother?

I'm a "beachy" girl~

Just went out with Angel and Natasha for lunch. I had the super sinful lemon cheese cake and ... what else? french fries~~ super the sinful, man~~~ I don't get it. I don't eat more than what I used to when I was at my lightest, 40kg. I gained about 2kg of muscle weight after I worked out more. I am now 44kg... 2kg is fat. Fat is growing all over me, my waist, my DOUBLE CHIN (horrible~~), my arms... EVERYWHERE!!! I have firmer abs than before as I do crunches every night for a few months now. But still, I AM FAT! I have firm abs but I have more inches on my waist now!! This is crazy... I don't get it... more exercise means better absorption of nutrition?? I eat a lot more junk food when I was 40kg... sigh...

Anyway, when I was sending Natasha home, I said to her, Europe is very beautiful but if given me a choice I would not choose to live in Europe. She loves Europe and it suits her, for she is so elegant and 有气质. I would choose to live by the beach, on an island. I am the "beachy" girl~ YY always say that to me. I like to sweat and I like to wear as little as possible. Bikini top and a surf short is my favourite outfit.

I once said to my bro, when our parents have gone to heaven, I'd probably leave the city and move to an island. But I said, "But then you'll be very pitiful.. cos you'll be all alone...".

Then I kept on thinking of the scenerio while driving back. I'd probably really move to an island. When I am still young, it's gonna be fine. Probably won't be too hard to find some guys to help me on various things if I ever needed to (I am not a feminist, that's silly). But when I get old, with all the wrinkles and ugly body and ugly face, I'd be very pity with no one to help me.

Then when I get very sick, I'd have to come back to the city to get treatment. I'd probably hate the city so much after staying on an island for so long, and subsequently return to the island home and abandon the treatment.

Then I'll get sicker. And I'd probably become too weak to get out of bed and die of sickness or just hunger.

Then when people realise I am dead from the stench of my half decomposed body, they'd probably call the police, who would then contact my bro in the city. Then my body, if I'm still left with a complete body, would be flew home.

By then, before I died, I'd probably won't have so frequent contact with friends anymore. And my bro probably won't have my friends' telephone number to contact them and tell them that I'm dead. So he would hold a quiet funeral for me and hopefully he'd still remember what I wanted : to have my body cremated and my ash sprinkle into the sea.

My friends would then read about my death from obituary in the newspaper. And that would be ~The End~ of my life. Interesting eh? nah~

Where do shit go?

Have you ever wonder where do shit go? I know I know, shit go into toilet bowl. But what's the process after that. Yeah I know, it goes to the sewage system. But how does the sewage system function? Do you know? I don't. In JB we can see 粪池 here and there, but why doesn't it smell? I always wonder.

So I search from www.howstuffworks.com to look for an answer. Quite interesting, if you want to know : Sewer

P.S. Think I'm disgusting? for I talked about shit in two posts.. Well, Aries are disgusting bunch of people who would ask things like "How smelly is the fart?". hehe... I read from a book when I was little, that when you're in the bathtub and you fart, if you're quick enough you can "catch" the fart by turning a glass facing the water and "catch" the gas when it rises and pops from the water surface. haha... that's interesting.

And while I was diving, I sometimes fart. And the air that I release, won't just come out through my wetsuit (at my butt there). Instead, it'll "rise" and come out through the opening at my neck. I had often worried that other divers will notice the air coming out from my neck and they'll know I just farted... hahahaha...

Bowel movement? Shitting i say

Why do ang mohs have to use so graceful words for a not so graceful action? Go to the toilet and shit, is called bowel movement, or pass motion. If I were the one who invented the word, I would just use "shitting". We are "producing" shit, so naturally it should be called "shitting". So easy. Bowel movement... pass motion... way too graceful. And "pass motion"... just doesn't describe the "job". We should all use "shitting".

In chinese, faeces is called 大便. Bowel movement is also called 大便. Direct and easy. hahahaha....

By the way, I knew it! I knew I could find the word "ang moh" in Wikipedia and I did~
See here :ang moh